I just got wind of a youtube video going viral that’s called “Dear Fat People.” It’s made by some woman calling herself a comedian, although I think any comedian worth their salt doesn’t have to insult people to be funny.
I haven’t watched the video, but apparently she tries to claim that there’s no such thing as fat-shaming (it’s all in our heads, guys). Even as she’s spouting such nonsense, she expresses her great disgust and discomfort of seeing overweight people and having to sit next to them on airplanes. Many people have responded in anger against this video. I decided not to watch it because I don’t particularly feel like being insulted today, thankyouverymuch.
So basically, I’m writing my opinion about something I haven’t even seen, much like how some Christians claim Harry Potter is about worshiping the devil (clearly not having read the actual books). HOWEVER! Even though I’m sharing my opinion on the video – it’s not one of disagreement. Yes, that’s right! I actually agree with vlogger Nicole Arbour.
I’m disgusted with myself, which naturally extends to the general disgust of ALL fat people. If you look at my group of friends, I am the biggest one in very one of my social circles. There might be other women who are chubby or need to lose a bit (and they complain like it’s as much as the amount I need to lose), but I’m still the biggest one there.
I never really thought about it until now, but I think I try to surround myself with people based on their personalities. That my friends and I have similar hobbies, interests, sense of humor, etc. And it just so happens that I hang out with a lot of fit, athletic people. A lot of them run marathons, go backpacking, do mountain biking or climbing, or work out at the gym. I guess I surround myself with people who I want to be like – who will help lift me up and push me to be better.
But I think, if I’m being very honest, I avoid fat people. They disgust me, but only because they are a reflection of me. It’s like how I was ashamed of my father’s eating habits (eating too fast/stuffing his face/giant mountains of food being shoved in his mouth), but only because I wondered if that’s how I used be … or still might be.
You would think I would bond with other fat people. Like, oh, let’s help each other! Let’s walk every morning and talk about how difficult it is to be fat! That kind of thing. But I don’t. Instead, I worry they’ll bring me down – not help me.
It’s hard to make American friends here in Korea. Part of it is the heavy drinking culture, which is something I’ve cut back on since trying to lose weight (there’s a lot of carbs and sugars in those drinks! I mean, I like the sweet drinks, so that’s part of the problem. And then I want to eat nachos and pizza and crap all weekend long. oops). There are a few other American girls in my neighborhood, but I’ve avoided making friends with them. Most of them are tall and thin, but every time I see them, they’re buying or carrying alcohol – or worse – junk food. I see them carrying pizza boxes on a Friday night. Or they have something from the chicken place or something like that.
One girl, poor thing, is taller and bigger than me. That always shocks me, because I’m quite tall and wide already. I can’t imagine being even bigger than I am. What a difficult life that would be! But yet, every time I see her, she’s holding unhealthy food containers in her hands! I don’t want to be friends with someone like that – I need someone who goes to the gym, or goes down to the river to walk/run/ride their bike. So I haven’t introduced myself yet.
I also agree with Nicole Arbour on another profound concept: fat people should stop being fat. Now, Nicole tries to hide behind “they should be healthier!” but really, she hates looking at fat people. At least I do not fall in that category entirely. I mean, yes, I think fat people are ugly and disgusting to look at; myself included. There’s a reason I dislike mirrors and taking pictures of myself!
But really, having lost some weight – enough to really notice a difference – I DO wish fat people would lose weight – all of us! We would be healthier, prettier, and most importantly: happier (not that weight loss guarantees happiness!). I don’t think you should lose weight because a thin girl on Youtube told you, too. I don’t think you should lose weight because people think you’re ugly or unhealthy. In fact, the ONLY reason you should lose weight is because YOU want to! That’s the only reason! If you want it, then yes, you should do it!
You guys know that I suffer from binge-eating, but guess what? I haven’t binged in two months! That’s right! Now, why was I secretly sneaking food two months ago and then suddenly quit? Is it because my mom said something? Or my husband? Is it because I was unhappy? Or saw myself in the mirror and felt ugly and gross?
No.
I’ve been unhappy my entire life. My mom’s been making comments my entire life. I’ve hated my body and felt ugly and gross … guess what? that’s right! MY ENTIRE LIFE!
So why the change?
Because I decided I was tired of being fat. I decided I WANTED to lose the weight. I thought to myself: Self, you should do this. You CAN do this.
So I did.
Don’t listen to Nicole Arbour, who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s never been fat. She doesn’t know you. She doesn’t care about you. And if she saw you, she would only feel personal discomfort that you dared attack her eyes with your ugliness (because she thinks fat people are ugly).
Instead, think about what you want. I believe that the way to get anywhere in life is to envision the future and start working towards what you see. If you want a certain job, then you need to start training in that field. If you want a lover, then perhaps you should join some groups, get set up on blind dates, or get a makeover. If you want your family to go on family bike rides together, then you should start exercising now so you can be part of a healthy family five years later. Take the steps NOW to achieve those later goals.
Nicole has never been fat. Perhaps there were times she THOUGHT she was, but quite frankly, she would never have made this video if she truly understood the struggle. She thinks she’s telling you something you didn’t already know (but DUH! you knew you were fat!). She thinks your friends aren’t being honest enough with you, but you know what? Your friends making comments wouldn’t even help!
The only person who can make the change is YOU. It’s in YOUR head and you have full control of what happens in YOUR life.
Which is why fat-shaming shouldn’t happen and people like Nicole should just shut up.
infinite pensieve 